friends..

sometimes friendships are hard work... sometimes they are worth the effort too, for it's these friends that put the smile on your face and light up your world when you least expect it, JCB you are one of these friends!

my life is grand!

Today I had brunch with my bestie Lana! It was ah-mazing! We just totally get each other and can tell each other anything. Not to mention we had an amazing coffee and breakfast at Bellyfish cafe.

We spoke and hung out for about an hour and a half at the cafe and then looked at some houses with my parents. It was just so fun to spend time with her just chilling and enjoying life I'm sure we could talk for hours non stop and I love that about her.

Tonight me and J decided to bite the bullet and visit a church we had been putting off for a long time. It has been quite awhile since we stepped foot in a church other than for weddings and funerals. I rather enjoyed the experience and the atmosphere was pretty good too, little bit more chilled out than the last couple we had been to. I was very nervous the entire time and I felt at loss of words talking to people I knew and rather awkward. Maybe it will get easier I'm not sure. I do know that I most likely will be back there soon to get a taste of it again.

I still have a lot of questions and opinions that hold me back from letting it all go and giving into that life again. I'm very reserved about it and wary, and I should be too! Well at least I feel like I should be. Ahhh maybe life is less grand and more complicated than I first thought?

Wishin and a dreamin

Today is the eve of my best friends due date. Her first baby is due to be born tomorrow, a baby girl! I'm absolutely thrilled for her and so excited to meet this gorgeous new life and watch her grow!

I haven't always felt this way. It's not that I wasn't happy for her when she found out she was pregnant (after trying for almost 6 months) it's just that I always thought I'd be the first of us to have kids. When I found out she was having a girl, I was even more gutted because that's what I always dreamed of!

About 4 years ago I decided I wanted to start trying to create a family but I was having a few health issues that I won't go into detail with. I desperately wanted a child (hopefully a girl first) but it just didn't seem to happen. I think sub-consciously I knew I wasn't ready for it so I sabotaged the efforts in all sorts of ways (that I'll also not go into detail about). I eventually gave up trying after maybe a year and a half of being disappointed every month, it's a grueling process trying to have children! One that everyone (well almost) must go through and it's almost like a roller-coaster of emotions.

So when I found out she would be first to have a child I was torn between being ecstatic that her dreams and wishes and prayers had come true and grieving over the family I didn't have yet. I guess I'd always wanted to have my first child before I was 25..

Instead I have spent the last few years partying up and enjoying myself before I get too old and it's too late. I truly wouldn't have wanted it any other way! I'm so happy with the journey I've been on in the last few years! Now I think I'm ready to take that plunge and go for it! Wish me luck!

Australia Day

Unfortunately for me Australia Day was fairly uneventful. I had no parties to go to, not even a BBQ, my family didn't even invite me anywhere :/ ! So what did I do?

Well I learnt that stripping paint off wooden furniture is a lot harder than one would first think. I also learnt that I'm starting to settle down and old friends are becoming more appealing than they had been this last year. I'm also learning that I love a bit of routine in my life (who doesn't) and that to create a more disciplined lifestyle I should probably get up before 1130am!!!

The table is looking nice. The wood isn't as nice as I'd hoped so I'm working a new angle, I think I'm going for a navy blue and pink theme with a chalkboard on top.. or perhaps I'll end up painting it white and pink? It turns out that whoever painted it last most likely used a spray paint and did the whole underside which it will almost be impossible to get rid of and not leave any trace. So my thinking hat goes on and I'll see what my imagination conjures up!

We also had dinner with some long time friends of ours and to be honest I thought we were outgrowing them but something has happened to make that change. It may have something to do with me hanging up my party shoes and kicking my butt back into gear or the fact that I'm ready to settle down and start a family, yes I did say that.. I want a baby!!! Anyhow whatever has brought on this change I'm glad that it has!

Yesterday I decided that I wanted to start living a bit healthier, eating healthy, exercising more and just generally being more productive with my days. So I started by creating a shopping list full of dinner foods and healthy snacks I can eat when I'm at home. I need to start eating less added sugars and less sugary foods. It turns out I actually like the taste of cornflakes without the sugar, who would have known! I had cheese and ham on toast for lunch and tomorrow I'm gonna have ryvitas and tuna! So wish me luck on my new healthy endeavor!

So while my Australia Day was uneventful at least it was productive and eye opening!

I miss those guys!

Today I was invited to go on a crew trainer outing to Sydney. Lana didn't have to invite me and I felt very lucky to be able to go.

We were going on the Sydney JetBoat. It was such a great day at first I wasn't sure if they wanted me there so I was a little nervous but when I turned up e everyone was surprised I was coming but I could tell it was a good surprise.

The jet boat ride was amazing, so much fun! I probably got the least wet ha it was fun to see how soaked everyone was!

Hopefully tomorrow I can fill you in properly but here's a run down of what happened. Took a train to Sydney and walked to the harbour whilst getting rained on. Took the boat ride and had a stack of fun! Found somewhere to eat lunch. Walked to Paddy's Markets and Kyle decided to walk through the fountain. Saw some crazy weird erotic statue that Maddy had a photo with. Found out Paddy's was closed and walked through Chinatown. Decided to go up to Galaxy World which is like timezone and spent way too much money on these pokie like machines! Had a game of hoops and dance dance revolution then caught the train home!!!

I miss them all so much. They were all so fun to work with and be around I'm gonna miss them stacks!!

relax..

Aaahhhh nothing days, time to relax... well that's at least what you think. Until you discover you aren't really relaxing.

To be honest today I did do a fair bit of relaxing but that also makes me bored, and when I'm bored I eat and that, well, that makes me 'unhealthy' looking. It's a vicious cycle this unemployed life.

It's not as though I don't have plenty to do, I still have a desk and a cabinet that require some attention, and after that I could start on the two sets of drawers that need refinishing. Instead I spent my day watching Season 3 of Gossip Girl. Something I'm not entirely proud of, but let's face it, we all like a bit of drama in our lives and the safest way to enjoy that is on a tv!

Well fortunately I had no car and limited funds so I was lucky enough to be stuck at home with very small amounts of bad food (or any food!) but maybe next time I won't be so lucky. I've been down this road before of eating more because there is little else to do and I'm determined not to fall down this slippery slope! Willpower is a fantastic thing isn't it? That may be, until you realise you used it all up on meaningless agendas and schemes and when you need it to rear its (sometimes) ugly head it is nowhere to be seen! I'm prepared to hunt mine down and force it to stand up for what I need it to.

Wow psycho-babble much? It is true though, I need to keep myself busy and on track. I need to create some sort of routine and rhythm for my life especially if I want to succeed at uni. I'm so scared I'm going to fail and not measure up. I need to be serious about this, I need a plan!

Good luck to me! (and so much for relaxing!)

ha! I knew it

So, I think this was meant to be a daily thing but I guess I kinda forgot the last couple of days. And maybe I should write earlier in the night so I don't have two posts with the same date.. all these things I will fine tune!

What have I been doing? Good question! Well I guess I've been busy doing all sorts of things but just haven't thought to post about it, well that will be my excuse anyhow!

I have been garage sale-ing and picked up some random free finds that ironically weren't at any of the garage sales I went to! I plan to restore these items or at least give it a go and see how I fair. If they do turn out alright I promise to put photos up.. I can't say what I'll do if it ends in disaster!

Today I did some house cleaning and had my brother and his girlfriend over for lunch and board games. Turns out that me and my other half are useless at any sort of charades games. We're good with words and figuring out answers from drawings etc but get us to act or hum something and we might as well give up the game! Surprisingly due to luck at the hand of the dice (I'm assuming) we won the board game..

So there's my little bit for the day. Oh and something that I do every Sunday is joke of the week from the Sunday Funday section of The Sunday Telegraph, so here it is:
Q. What did the teacup say?
A. I've been mugged

I never said they were any good!!

Just so you know...

Some things that I did today... (excuse the dodgy photos from my phone haha)

1. Shopping with my mum at DFO's. What a day. We trudged through the shops once to check out the merchandise than once more to buy.. I didn't want to miss out on anything as I had a limited budget! Ahhh the joys of shopping!

2. Ikea. Again this was with my mum, though it's not as fun when you're buying for someone else and you have no money to spend. There are too many great ideas and to leave empty handed is disappointing! Maybe next time I can shop for me, there is my bookshelf to buy!

3. Bought a newspaper with my name in it! The uni offers were released in the media today, I picked up my copy of the paper to see my name printed in it. Turns out no one (this year) except me has my last name! I also received my offer in the mail which was super exciting and made it feel a little more real! Ahhh bring on February!

the one where I hear the good news.

So originally I'd thought that I'd be getting the news of an offer (if there was one at all) at 9am today, however when I double checked the website it told me that I'd have to wait an extra twelve hours before I found out the news that could make or break the plans that I had prematurely made for this year. I was meant to be going shopping with my mum today but got a phone call asking me to work. I couldn't decline as I really need the money at the moment until things settle down around here. So off I went to work another 8 hours with the gorgeous 3-5 year olds that I'd played with yesterday.

Today was different, I felt more at ease and more willing to take control of the situations in the room and I think (and hope) that by doing this I will slowly gain the respect of these children and they will learn to listen to me and respect the boundaries I put in place. it was fun!! I had a blast today remembering all the songs and games I used to sing and play. The most enjoyable part was playing 'What's the time Mr Wolf?' with the children. They seemed so thrilled at the idea of something different, something special that they hadn't done in a long time from what I could tell. The smiles on the faces and the excitement in their voices is reward enough.

Afterwards I headed down to the beach for some relaxing fish and chips and to watch some fire twirling while eating ice cream. I was spending time with my family and some close friends. It was getting closer to the time when I would find out my news and I was about to head home to log on when my dad asked if I could access the offers while I was out (the joys of technology and the modern era). I decided I'd check out the site and have a look. It was 15 minutes early but who knows maybe they were opening it up a little early to try to prevent a clogged server? Sure enough when I logged on there was my offer waiting for me. My heart stopped beating and I held my breath. I read carefully to ensure I had gotten in to my first preference. A smile spread across my face as I murmured the words "I got in".

No words can describe that feeling the relief that washed over me, the sense of pride I had for being 'offered' a position! After telling my family I text my good friend JC to let him know, he was waiting to find out if he got into his preferred course as well (which he did), it was still well before 9pm so he was surprised I knew already and asked me how, I told him to hurry up and check! I continued to let those nearest to me know of the good news and a plethora of congratulations and well wishes headed my way.

I headed home to accept my offer and to begin my enrollment process. The thrill of embarking on this new journey was not lost on me and it still has not become real to me. I'm going to uni this year, I'm making my dreams a reality. This is my time and I hope that I make the most of it!

Today..

So today..
ahhhh, today I took a trip down memory lane. I decided since I left my other job and have taken up (hopefully) uni full time that I would look for some casual or part time work in the child care industry. Naturally I chose to visit my old preschool first and see if they would like to hire me casually. So today was my first day back there.

It's funny how things can change but remain the same as well. A lot of the staff that I knew are still there and a lot of the routines are the same, but there are slight differences as well. I feel somewhat like an outsider but I also feel like I never left.

The children that I taught have grown up and moved on to 'big school' so I had a lot of faces and names to remember, which I thought I did rather well. Even though the children aren't the same ones I used to look after, children are at the end of the day still children. They still crave the attention of adults, they still cling to anybody that seems to provide a sense of security and they still ask the same thousand questions a day. They still talk over the top of each other until the room is so noisy you find yourself yelling just to be heard by the child next to you, they are still learning to share and compromise and act appropriately in social activities. They still push the boundaries until you begin to push them back, they still require careful guidance with their behaviour and their emotions almost pushing you beyond breaking point, then suddenly turn around and smack a kiss on your cheek and tell you they love you, or that they're your friend. Suddenly nothing else matters in the world, it doesn't matter how they acted right before their redeeming moment, and it doesn't matter that they plastered a grumpy look on their face when you told them "no" or "stop", all that matters now is that moment, and you begin to wonder if life really was better as a child with no complications or obligations.

I had forgotten how rewarding working with children is. I cannot wait for these next couple of years. If all I do is my uni and play with kids for a couple of hours a week then so be it, what a great way to spend my time!

The Beginning...

I decided a few days ago that I would start a blog that I'd write simple things about my day. It's not that I think I'll forget if something major happens in my life, but it seems that sometimes it's the little things that happen in life that make a huge difference and are often forgotten soon after they happen. I like to remember the details of things, what the weather was like, were there any particular sounds or aromas in the air, what was I wearing? 


I've started a new chapter in my life this year and I don't want to forget the journey I take. I've left full time work to go back to being a student and I know I have lots of things to learn, and lots of things to look forward to, in fact, tomorrow night is the night that I find out if I have been accepted into the University I have dreamt of going to since I was a little girl. To study teaching at Macquarie University has been something I've planned to do since I was around nine or ten. I planned to study there and live at my grandparents house. I'm now 27 and finally following my dream. I never thought that it would have taken me all these years to actually decide to take the leap and follow my dream, but I also never thought that my dream involved science and High School students, I thought it was Primary Teaching that I would study and for a brief moment I thought that child care and preschool teaching was my calling. It's been an amazing journey of self-discovery over these last nine years but I wouldn't for a second have it any other way. I have made friendships that will last a life time and have learnt valuable lessons, nothing I have done in these years do I regret it has all been part of journey and a story that is so much bigger than I could imagine.

This is not an easy adventure that I begin, for I have given up a full-time (and well paying) job to become a poor student. It has crossed my mind many a time that I may be living off bread and milk to get through this but as the saying goes "where there is a will there is a way." I have not a single doubt in my mind that things will fall into place for I am always looked after, the adventure is not knowing how they will fall into place and just letting the journey unfold naturally.


So this is where I'm going to write those little things down. I hope one day I'll look back on this time and remember the great times I have had, as well as the little things that have completed my days.